...Was solved for me by the most manly of menly men. My husbando. You know what he did? He, (who only dislikes spiders a little bit less than I do) caught the bloody thing (it was still in the same spot at 8pm) with an ice cream container - no glasses here, a glass wouldn't have been big enough - and walked it three blocks away and released it. A super duper, kind to all gods creatures, wife dilemma solving husbando. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.