One cake short of a sponge.

I got asked to make a sponge cake the other day. I had to do it for work, which meant I made it at 10pm... baking late is almost always a recipe for disaster.
The main problem I had though was that despite having 5 peoples recipe books under one roof (ahh the perks of share housing) not one of them had a sponge cake recipe in. Not one. Jamie, Nigella, Stephanie. They all let me down. Even my trusty op shop find baking book let me down. So rather than turning to my usual internet sources (here) I googled sponge cake, and went with the first recipe. I know! What was I thinking?!

Sponge cake's are notouriously difficult to get perfect, and when it comes to baking, I'm a perfectionist... this all leading up to disaster - can you tell?!
Anyway, So it's 10pm and I'm whipping up a self titled "basic" sponge. It involves room tempreture eggs and sugar being machine beaten on high for six minutes and three types of flour being sifted three times. Eggs at room tempreture? Six minutes? Three times? Phoooey says I! I don't have that sort of time on my hands, hells no. I shall beat it until it is mixed and I shall sift it once. Three sifts sounds like more washing up and mess to me. I know, I know. My gran is shaking her head - Nanna's of the world are shaking their heads. "Oh the young, the time poor, the foolish!" they say.
The cake was flat. Flat as a flat heavy flat thing. It was a cake tasting biscuit. I took it into work anyway and covered it in strawberry jam, brandy butter (an inspired and redeeming touch on my part I must say) and cream. Cream that I whisked with a coat hanger and power drill. Because that's the kind of girl I am. I forget the whisk, I used what I had. Sponge cake aint sponge cake when its flat and heavy but it definitely aint sponge cake without cream. And to be honest it was entirely edible and my sweet collegues even said it was nicer than the shop bought chocolate cake, and not being a huge chocolate cake fan I'm inclined to agree - but it was mainly the thick jam, brandy butter and cream combo that redeemed it.
Do you have an amazing real sponge cake recipe? Please tell me your secrets - because now I must conquer the sponge. I shall not be beaten. I will be a sponge queen, and I will put brandy butter inside it, every time. Because really, if I ruled the world, it's all I would eat.

Brandy butter:
* 125g butter
* 2 tblsp brandy
* 1 cup icing sugar

Beat room temp butter and icing sugar and brandy until combined. Adjust to taste.
Attempt to not spread that stuff on toast. It's bad for you, but oh so good. You're welcome.